I used to be afraid of being alone. The years of middle school and early high school took a toll on my self-esteem. I wasn’t okay with being alone or with myself in general, nothing was working out in my favor, and I honestly didn’t have that many friends. It’s not that I didn’t want to be friends with the people I was surrounded by; it was that I just didn’t fit in. I was formally known by most people as the weird kid with the curly hair and the strange accent. In most group activities I was usually chosen last. It took me years to get over this because I kept hanging out with the wrong crowd. I ended up becoming friends with people who chose me last and didn’t inspire me to become the person I wanted to be. This, in turn, caused me to become someone I didn’t want to be, someone who was uninspired and lived her life to please others and be ‘popular’. I just followed the flow and let what others do influence my decisions. I was massively concerned with what people thought or me and whether or not I would fit in.
Nowadays, I can look back and see why all of this had to happen. I can understand that the universe had a larger plan for me that didn’t involve any of these people. The universe has effectively cut nearly every single person that I was friends with during these years out of my life and I am now only friends with people that make me a better person and encourage me to follow my dreams. There is no room for negative people or people who hold me back.
What I realized through all of this is that you only have yourself. For the rest of your life the only person that you can ever depend upon is yourself. That’s all there is to it. No one else is going to save you, not your best friend, not your boyfriend, not the president, not whoever else it may be that you think is important to you. No one else’s opinion matters except your own. You do not need approval to do what you want to do. I was foolish enough to think that in my younger days that I needed the approval of others to be smart, pretty, skinny, whatever it may be. I would constantly be looking for this everywhere in my life. Social media is the biggest culprit of this. Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, etc, lead us to believe that our worth is determined by the number of likes or comments we get on a post. I have friends that if they don’t get enough likes, that will delete the photo and repost it at a later time to get more likes for self-gratification. This is not okay. None of us should ever be so controlled by social media that we feel the need to do this. You do not need constant validation to live your life.
We all need to learn to be okay with ourselves and not let others dictate how we should live our precious lives. We need to chase our dreams. For years, and I literally mean since I was in about 7th grade, I wanted to have my own blog and travel for a living. I didn’t do anything about this for a long time because I didn’t have the courage. I truly and honestly believed that no one would like what I created and that no one cared what the ‘weird girl from middle and high school’ thought about traveling and changing your life. One day, about two years ago or so, I was so done with the system and society that dictated who I should be that I decided that
no one’s opinion matters to me and that I am going to do whatever I feel like.
This included starting my blog, changing my style, cutting and subsequently dying my hair, and in general, following my dreams and working towards success. I was so sick and tired of doing the same thing everyday that I decided to become a role model for my own self and that for once in my life, I was going to choose myself. I kept asking myself ‘what is holding me back from accomplishing my dreams?’ and I learned that the answer was myself. It’s as simple as that. Once you decide to choose yourself, everything else falls into place. Instead of hanging out with the friend who comes to you when everyone else is busy, choose to be alone and get to know yourself. Instead of posting on social media to see how many likes it will get, post what you love. Seriously, no one’s opinion matters except your own. You are in charge of your own life and you are the only one who can change it. You do not have to ask for permission and wait for someone to approve your actions, just get out there and do it. Start following your dreams and choosing yourself and I guarantee you, your life will change and you will become happier.